This is an essay discussing the true nature of quantum black holes as well as the various semiclassical approaches used in their analyses. It is pointed out that the usual thermal interpretation of the WKB method as well as the use of the singular Rindler-type wavefunctions in Mean-Field theory lead to mathematical and physical inconsistencies and point directly toward the non existence of the black hole thermal evaporation process. Proper interpretation of the WKB method as the tunneling probability of quantum particles escaping the hole leads to the identification of quantum black holes as p-brane massive quantum excitations modes. It is also critical of recently defined concepts such as entanglement entropy and the holographic principle.